Christmas Jokes

Q. What do you call a reindeer who wears ear muffs?
A. Anything you want. He can't hear you.

Q. How much difference is there between the North Pole and the South Pole?
A. All the difference in the world.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. If a reindeer lost its tail, where could he get a new one?
A. At a retail store.

Q. What kind of music do elves like best?
A. “Wrap” music.

Q. Who is never hungry at Christmas?
A. The turkey – he’s always stuffed.

Q. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
A. Thanks, I'll never part with it.

Q. What did the grape say to the peanut butter?
A. "'Tis the season to be jelly".

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house.

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
A. He had no body to go with.

Q. What do you sing at a snowman's birthday party?
A. Freeze a jolly good fellow.

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet.

Q. What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window?
A. Looks like "rain", "Dear"!

Q. Why will Santa go down your chimney on Christmas Eve?
A. Because it soots him.

Q. Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A. Because he had the drum sticks.

Q. What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. What happened when the snowwoman got angry at the snowman?
A. She gave him the cold shoulder.

Q. Why does Scrooge love reindeer?
A. Because every buck is deer to him.

Q. What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
A. Snow.

Q. What does Santa say to the toys on Christmas Eve?
A. Okay everyone, sack time!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark?
A. Frost bite.

Q. Who delivers Christmas presents to pets?
A. Why, Santa Paws of course!

Q. What happened to the guy who shoplifted a calendar at Christmas?
A. He got 12 months.

Q. What do you call an old snowman?
A. Water.

Q. Why is it so cold on Christmas?
A. Because it's in Decembrrrrrrrrrr!

Q. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinselitis.

Q. What do elves learn in school?
A. The Elf-abet!

Q. What kind of Christmas candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
A. Neither, candles always burn shorter.

Q. What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
A. The letter "Y".

Q. What kind of money do they use at the North Pole?
A. Cold cash.

Q. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
A. He was feeling crummy.

Q. What kind of bird can write?
A. A PENguin.

Q. How is the Christmas alphabet different from the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

Q. What goes "oh, oh, oh"?
A. Santa walking backwards.

Q. What do you call Santa when he has no money?
A. Saint "Nickel"-less!

Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A. Claustrophobic.

Q. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A. It's Christmas, Eve.

Q. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
A. Because the present's beneath them.

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. A snow ball.

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